Humility & Holiness--God's integrity in being worshiped.

It was mid-April, and I happened to be up very early one Sunday morning after taking a friend to the airport for a 6am flight. Encouraged and alert after some delicious coffee and a banana for breakfast, I went on a jog! I don't normally wake up early to run... my usual habit is to put it off until about sunset, so I can avoid the heat and wake up a little later. But this morning, I had some processing to do with God because of an intense conversation about missions with my friend that morning. Running always helps me think things through, and the sun hadn't risen yet--so I knew I couldn't miss it. The air was perfectly cool as I started off down my street and through my neighborhood. The whole time I couldn't believe that I don't do this more often! I made my way to Pritchett field, because I saw it was empty of the usual hordes of people who exercise there in the evenings. God and I ran some laps together... I fought in my mind to just concentrate on breathing well, because I ran track in high school and knew it was important. But something was going on in my heart that I didn't know how to shake. I was being tempted to feel proud of myself for jogging so early in the morning. It may sound ridiculous to you, but I've always had high regard for the discipline of an athlete.

In CS Lewis' fiction novel The Screwtape Letters, there is a man who is tempted to be proud. The book is about some demons in the practice of getting humans away from God, and Lewis writes from the perspective of a demon struggling at his work, with the advice he receives from his mentor who helps him in the evil-doing. Quite interesting, but I've never forgotten an illustration from the book when I read it a few years ago. The human, being tempted by the demon to have pride in himself, laughs at himself. The demons hate this. I laughed as I read the book, because I had recently come to such a point in my walk with God! There was a war in my mind about how awesome I was for my faith and works for God, versus God's grace towards me. God's grace won this war, and I was able to laugh at myself and the thought that I am anything good on my own.

As I ran around the track at Pritchett that morning, beating my pride with God's grace, I had an epiphany about God's character. Something else was on my heart that morning. A question I had been thinking through for some time was "Why does the Bible tell us to worship God?" I have known it is good to worship God--I know very well from experience that it is good to worship God! But is He humble for commanding it of us? The Lord is so faithful to use a funny thing like my morning jog to show me something neat about Himself. It was just as the sun was ready to peak above the horizon, and I realized I was alone. Of course it was ridiculous that I should think to be proud of myself for exercising so early--I had no audience to agree with me! One car may have gone by, but I think it was the newspaper delivery person. Truthfully, what I was able to do that morning may have been great in my own eyes, but I am still an "unworthy servant."

What struck me in the moment as I was rounding a corner of the track, is that God is worthy of our worship whether we see His great works or not. He is worthy, with or without audience. He was worthy before He created mankind. He is humble in His holiness. If I am to think Him proud for commanding me to worship Him, then am I not putting Him on my playing field? He is holy. I cannot think of Him as I think of man. God has integrity in all He asks of us. He is 100% good, and worshiping Him, as I read in a quote recently, is the way He likes to communicate His character to us. I love serving such a worthy God. He is humble and He is holy! And we may be intimate with our Creator in any and every moment if we pray and seek Him. I struggled with my human eyes to see His face as I sat by Pritchett field to watch the sunrise that morning. It was worth trying. :)