Journey Has a Sender.

Being the type of writer who always has ideas and thoughts rolling around, but never gets them down, is almost like willingly letting yourself become a basket-case because why not? For. No. Reason. I have got to get these thoughts out so I can move on with my life (lol - but I'm serious.) Last year, at my ministry license credentialing exam, one of my district's presbyters, Pastor Maddoux, graded my exam and exclaimed toward the end, "You are a writer!" I had written my testimony in just one page, but he was able to see something in me that I'm passionate about, and he encouraged it. Thank God for that - I'm being (possibly too) blunt right now, but I struggle with the kind of pride that is self-deprecating... But I'll end that explanation of myself there so I can get to the point.

Pastor Maddoux talked to me for a few minutes after the exam and he had the best explanation. He said that these thoughts the Lord gives us are like extra loose change at the end of the day. You take it out of your pockets and put it in a dish where anyone may find and take as they have need. When we share these thoughts, we're not wasting anyone's time. We're just freely offering what the Lord's made available to us, and for me, writing helps me to articulate what's really going on in my brain. (And my heart, I guess.) :)

That was in October of last year. I had already felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit for a while to write what He'd been speaking to me, but feeling the heaviness of other things going on in my life, I just took my time. So here we are.

"He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’" - Jesus, John 7:38

A few weeks ago, I was at my mom's house for a week off from work. I am in a season of transition from U.S. Missions to World Missions, doing a number of different things at once to enable me to go. And I don't know if there's any specific reason (our usual scapegoats--being a girl? being single? fear?), but I struggle with worry. I always ultimately determine to choose to trust God more because I know Him, and He's got my back.


Anyway, I often wake up in the mornings lately with a worship song or thoughts of God on my mind, saying from my heart "I love you, God" or "God is good" . . . and I'm so down with this happening on the daily. It has been an incredible encouragement to me ["encourage" is derived from French, meaning "to strengthen the heart"].


One particular morning at home, I began to wake up and although I had kept on having fuzzy thoughts of worry, the Lord broke through my thoughts to give me some of His own. As I lay there, these are the words as they came to mind:

"Journey have a...what?

Journey have a... no - Journey HAS a...

Journey has a Sender"

. . . *click*

OOOhhhhh....

Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord.

I knew what He meant right away. 

Concurrently, I got an image of change being shaken out of a big glass jar with a small opening for the lid. It may have taken a minute to get the words out, but the Lord spoke to me so clearly with thoughts that were not my own.

Do you see why He spoke these words to me? I will make it plain: He knows what we need. We need to remember His character if we are to trust Him, thereby getting away from the nasty pet sin-habit we call "worry." He knows what we need better than we do. These are the words I needed to hear from my Heavenly Father.

"Journey has a Sender." He covered every aspect of my fears with His words. I've been so mindful of going to Europe but so scared of making a good transition. In order to go, I must raise a good amount of monthly as well as one-time support funds, and it's just easy to be scared about that.

I think I have a healthy level of motivating intimidation in this process, but it is so nice to know that my God is my Sender, and it's not just for the destination, but the whole journey. Not just one day of going, but all of my going. Thank you Lord.